How to Find a Therapist

Jul 16

Finding a therapist is both a relief and one of the bravest and most loving things we can do for ourselves. It is the commitment to healing our wounds, and also SO painful (you have to look at the wound to heal it).

Ok, so you've done all that, you've you built up the courage, you've overcome a stigma, you found the motivation, etc. to find a therapist. You hype yourself up, open up your computer, Google "therapist near me" and then....well, and then what? How can you tell from a picture of someone in front of shrubbery that they won't judge your crying face? It's like dating...but you don't get taken out to dinner before you share your childhood trauma.

All of this to say, you DESERVE help and support, you have worked HARD for this moment, it should be with someone who you relate to you and can imagine yourself having a trusting & caring alliance with. Sometimes it takes time to find the right therapist-but you're worth it. Don't get discouraged if it takes longer than you think, because you SHOULD have high standards-this is time to practice not settling or compromising yourself in a relationship.

So, here are my tips for finding a therapist:

1) Tune into your heart & mind

When you make those initial calls/emails to therapists, they will ask you what you want to work on or what brought you to therapy.

Take some quiet time to yourself-take a walk, journal, sit in mindfulness, etc. and ask yourself: what is my intention with seeking a therapist? The first thing that pops into your mind is the answer.

2) Make a list of criteria

When you start to search for people you will see abbreviations next to their name. Here are what the most common ones mean:

PhD/PsyD: Doctoral-level psychologist. Provides talk therapy.
LICSW/LCSW, LMHC, LMFT: Provide talk & art therapy.
MD: Psychiatrists, licensed to prescribe medication. Some will offer talk therapy alongside medication management.
NP/CNS: Nurse Practitioners (NP) and Certified Nurse Specialists (CNS), licensed to prescribe medication. Typically do not offer talk therapy.

Ask yourself:

What kind of therapy do I want?
Who/what type of person is best suited to honor my intention? What qualities/traits do I want them to have? Ie. specific spiritual background, sense of humor, etc.
What gender & racial identity would feel safest for me?
What does my insurance offer? Is there a copayment?
Am I willing to pay out of pocket? If so, what is my budget?

3) Ask THEM questions

Remember, you are hiring them, not the other way around! Once you have your list of criteria, feel empowered to ask questions like: "Have you worked with someone who has struggled with ____ before?" "Do you accept ____ insurance?" "What if I want my partner or child to join a session every once in a while?"

4) Talk to people you trust

Maybe your close friends or family have a person or organization they recommend and can connect you to. Your doctor can also always make referrals, and is sometimes the easiest way to finding people in your insurance network.

5) Use online resources

Instead of just typing "therapists near me" be specific: "LGBTQIA therapists in Oakland" etc. Also, if you are willing to meet virtually (you might have to due to COVID), you can meet with a therapist anywhere within your state-don't let location be a barrier.